My time at UT, however, changed that. Participating for the first time in a full-length research experiment at that level, I felt more alive, more engaged, than I ever had before. Learning the complex dynamics between electromagnetic induction and optics in an attempt to solve one of the holy grails of physics, gravitational-waves, I could not have been more pleased.
Thus vindicated, my desire to further formalize my love of science brings me to State University. Thanks to this experience, I know now better than ever that State University is my future, because through it I seek another, permanent, opportunity to follow my passion for science and engineering.
In addition to just science, I am drawn to State University for other reasons. I strive to work with the diverse group of people that State University wholeheartedly accommodates — and who also share my mindset. They, like me, are there because State University respects the value of diversity. I know from personal experience that in order to achieve the trust, honesty, and success that State University values, new people are needed to create a respectful environment for these values.
And that, truly, is the greatest success I can imagine. This emphasis on diversity can also be found in the variety of specialized departments found at State University. On top of its growing cultural and ethnic diversity, State University is becoming a master at creating a niche for every student. However, this does not isolate students by forcing them to work with only those individuals who follow their specific discipline. Instead, it is the seamless interaction between facilities that allows each department, from engineering to programming, to create a real learning environment that profoundly mimics the real world.
Thus, State University is not just the perfect place for me, it is the only place for me. Indeed, having the intellectual keenness to absorb every ounce of knowledge presented through my time in the IB program, I know that I can contribute to State University as it continues to cultivate a scholarly climate that encourages intellectual curiosity.
In a department where education and research are intermixed, I can continue to follow the path that towards scientific excellence. Long-mesmerized by hobbies like my work with the FIRST Robotics team, I believe State University would be the best choice to continue to nurture my love for electrical and computer engineering. I have only scratched the surface in this ever evolving field but know that the technological potential is limitless.
Likewise, I feel that my time at State University would make my potential similarly limitless. This is a picture-perfect response to a university-specific essay prompt. However, selective colleges receive applications from many worthy students with similar scores and grades—too many to admit.
Telling Your Story to Colleges So what does set you apart? You have a unique background, interests and personality. This is your chance to tell your story or at least part of it. The best way to tell your story is to write a personal, thoughtful essay about something that has meaning for you. Be honest and genuine, and your unique qualities will shine through.
Admissions officers have to read an unbelievable number of college essays, most of which are forgettable. Many students try to sound smart rather than sounding like themselves. Go here for some tips on how to pick a good focusing lens. Paired Sharing This is where you get the opportunity to share your story with a partner and hear your story told back to you. Find a partner. Decide who will go first. Partner A shares a story that was revealed during the Feelings and Needs Exercise, while Partner B listens, and maybe takes notes.
This gives Partner A the chance to actually hear their own story told back to them. While your partner is sharing, your job is simply to listen. Taking notes is optional, but avoid it if it will distract you from being present with your partner. Take the leap. You just have to begin. Feeling reticent to begin?
This meditation might help. Remember a new idea can be fragile. Be gentle with your feedback. Here are some ways you can help your partner pick a topic: Mostly just listen. How can you make this happen? Ask lots of questions. Here are some good, simple questions to ask: What topics are you deciding between? What do you like about each one? Open-ended questions are great too: c. They have a plan. The rules for writing a good essay are no different.
Create an outline that breaks down the essay into sections. All good stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Shape your story so that it has an introduction, body, and conclusion. Following this natural progression will make your essay coherent and easy to read. How are you going to open your essay? With an anecdote? A question? Use of humor? Try to identify what the tone of your essay is going to be based on your ideas.
Stick to your writing style and voice. Put the words in your own voice. Write the essay Once you are satisfied with your essay in outline format, begin writing! By now you know exactly what you will write about and how you want to tell the story. So hop on a computer and get to it. Try to just let yourself bang out a rough draft without going back to change anything. Then go back and revise, revise, revise.
The remainder of the page is a series of frames and borders with simple captions underneath. Without the photographs, the descriptions are cryptic. For now, that second page is incomplete because I have no precise itinerary for my future.
The red flags on the map represent the places I will travel to, possibly to teach English like I did in Cambodia or to do charity work with children like I did in Guatemala. As for the empty frames, I hope to fill them with the people I will meet: a family of my own and the families I desire to help, through a career I have yet to decide. Until I am able to do all that, I can prepare. It reads like the opening to a movie. She keeps clothes for a long time; she likes to be comfortable.
What does "Levi's" suggest? She's not obsessed with neatness. What do these details tell us? Family is really important to her. Fireplace: What does a fireplace connote? Warmth, closeness. My brother's hot cocoa: Why hot cocoa?
Again, warmth. How is the fact that her brother made it change the image? It implies that her brother is engaged in the family activity. Do you think she likes her brother?
Would your brother make hot cocoa for you? And finally: Listening to rain: Why not watching TV? What does it tell you about this family that they sit and listen to rain together? Taken together, they create an essence image. Quick: What essence image describes your family? Even if you have a non-traditional family—in fact, especially if you have a non-traditional family! Based on the image the writer uses, how would you describe her relationship with her family?
We know all we need to know. Did you notice? Did you notice how clearly she set up the idea of the scrapbook at the beginning of the essay? Look at the last sentence of the second paragraph bolded below : Cutting the first photograph, I make sure to leave a quarter inch border.
The sentence in bold above is essentially her thesis. It explains the framework for the whole essay. She follows this sentence with: This particular project is the most valuable scrapbook I have ever made: the scrapbook of my life. Super clear. We need to trust that this is going to be worth our time. Two reasons: 1. Showing before telling gives your reader a chance to interpret the meaning of your images before you do. Why is this good?
It provides a little suspense. Note that it's all "show. Now we get it. Showing then telling gives you an opportunity to set-up your essay for what I believe to be the single most important element to any personal statement: insight. Insight answers the question: So what? Not throughout your whole essay; a couple times will do. Can you cut it in half without changing the meaning? Over the course of the six weeks, I became very familiar with playing the cello, the flute, the trumpet, and the marimba in the morning session while I continually learned how to play the acoustic guitar in the afternoon sessions.
Wait, actually try cutting this in your mind before scrolling down. See how concise you can get it. Half the words and retains the meaning. If you find yourself trying to pack a lot into one sentence, just use two.
Two sentences work just as well, and require no extra words. I also look forward to pursuing other, more unconventional, academic interests, such as ancient history and etymology through the first year seminars. Option 2: Just trim the first half of the sentence to its essence, or cut most of it. That might look like this: At Brown I look forward to pursuing a double concentration in both public health and business, while also tapping into other, more unconventional academic interests, such as ancient history and etymology.
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What makes it particularly effective is not just its cohesive structure and elegant style but also the level of details the author uses in the response. I was always more likely to admit or advocate for a student who was real and allowed me to get to know them in their essay. If you are someone who uses the word indubitably all the time, then by all means, go for it. The first is a page of a Cambodian Bible that was given to each of the soldiers at a military base where I taught English. Things that shifted your life. Can you say more about that?
It was finally time to get my hands dirty. Parents can advise, encourage, and offer a second set of eyes, but they should never add their own words to a student's essay.
I know from personal experience that in order to achieve the trust, honesty, and success that State University values, new people are needed to create a respectful environment for these values.
If, for example, your partner has experienced challenges… Use the Feelings and Needs Exercise. Montage is a technique that involves creating a new whole from separate fragments pictures, words, music, etc.
The remainder of the page is a series of frames and borders with simple captions underneath.
The tip below is paraphrased from a post on the University of Virginia Admission blog. Make sure to keep copies of what you sent to which schools and when—and follow up on them! How will your essay convey your background and what makes you unique? Look for opportunities to upload essays onto applications as PDFs. Not to mention why you're a good fit for the college or university—and why it's a good fit for you.
Since he or she normally expects to spend fewer than five minutes reading through your writing, it is recommended that your essay has fewer than words total to avoid straining their patience. Play chess? Try to only include the information that is absolutely necessary. Why is this good?