Improve community essay for college

  • 30.04.2019

I poured lemon juice all over my body. I decided then that I wanted to be a doctor and study microbiology. Over the summer, I shadowed Dr.

Wong Mei Ling, a General Practitioner. I observed case after case of bacterial interactions on the human body: an inflamed crimson esophagus suffering from streptococcus, bulging flesh from a staph infection, food poisoning from e. I was her researcher, looking up new drugs or potential illnesses that cause particular symptoms. Intrigued by the sensitive balance between the good and bad bacteria on our bodies, I changed my lifestyle after researching more about our biological processes.

I viewed my cheek cells through a microscope in AP Bio, and I realized that each cell needs to be given the right nutrients. Learning about foods enhancing my organ functions and immune system, I now eat yogurt regularly for the daily intake of probiotics to facilitate my digestion.

As a future pediatrician, I hope to teach children how to live symbiotically with bacteria instead of fearing them. I will stress the importance of achieving the right balance of good and bad microbes through healthy habits.

Like a daily reminder, the minute microbes in and on me serve as a reminder of my passion for the complex but tiny foundation of life. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Scrolling through poems written by students at my school on a poetry publishing site, I was shocked by the number of girls starving or purging in attempts to love themselves.

Before finding out about their struggles, I thought I was the only girl hating my reflection. Although I initially despised working out, I left the gym feeling strong and proud of my body. Over the first weeks, I even developed a finger-shaped bruise on my bicep as I checked it daily. I began to love exercise and wanted to share my hope with my friends.

I intentionally talked about the benefits of working out. I regularly invited them to come to the HOP sessions after school. I talked about how fun it was, while at the same time mentioning the healthy body change process. Their language changed from obsessing with size to pride in their strength.

I was asked to lead classes and scoured the web for effective circuit reps. I researched modifications for injuries and the best warmups and cooldowns for workouts. I continue to lead discussions focusing on finding confidence in our bodies and defining worth through determination and strength rather than our waists. Although today my weight is almost identical to what it was before HOP, my perspective and, perhaps more importantly, my community is different.

There are fewer poems of despair, and more about identity. But what really catches my attention are the men who wear blue jumpsuits striped with fluorescent colors, who cover their faces with scarves and sunglasses, and who look so small next to the machines they use and the skyscrapers they build.

These men are the immigrant laborers from South-Asian countries who work for 72 hours a week in the scorching heat of the Middle East and sleep through freezing winter nights without heaters in small unhygienic rooms with other men. Sometimes workers are denied their own passports, having become victims of exploitation. International NGOs have recognized this as a violation of basic human rights and classified it as bonded labour. As fellow immigrants from similar ethnicities, my friends and I decided to help the laborers constructing stadiums for the FIFA world cup.

Since freedom of speech was limited, we educated ourselves on the legal system of Qatar and carried out our activities within its constraints. With this money, we bought ACs, heaters and hygienic amenities for the laborers. We then educated laborers about their basic rights. In the process, I became a fluent Nepalese speaker.

As an experienced debater, I gave speeches about the exploitation of laborers at the gatherings. Also, I became the percussionist of the small rock band we created to perform songs that might evoke empathy in well-off migrants. As an experienced website-developer, I also reached out to other people in the Middle East who were against bonded labor and helped them develop the migrant-rights.

Although we could only help 64 of the millions of laborers in the Middle East, we hope that our efforts to spread awareness will inspire more people to reach out to the laborers who built their homes. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Flames licking my face. Unknown creatures circling me restlessly. The darkness threatening to swallow me. I asked for this. Nine long days in the jungle with only a day's worth of rations, the Jungle Confidence Course was designed to test our survival capabilities.

To make matters worse, I had to carry a bunch of heavy military equipment that had no use to me for the purpose of the test. Dropped in the middle of Brunei, no matter which way you walked the terrain always went up.

So why on earth would anyone volunteer this? I was hungry. Not in the physical sense, even though I was starving for those nine days, but rather due to an incurable thirst. Every Singaporean male citizen is required to serve two years in service to the country essentially delaying our education and subsequent entrance into the workforce. Most people, including my friends, see this as something terrible and try to avoid it altogether by flying overseas. Such a move could at least increase the likelihood of a serious discussion of the existing curricular structure to determine whether it truly serves the multiple aims of undergraduate education.

Colleges should also consider allowing some meaningful participation by members of the administrative staff who are prominently involved in college life, such as deans of student affairs and directors of admission.

The current division between formal instruction and the extracurriculum is arbitrary, since many goals of undergraduate education, such as moral development and preparation for citizenship, are influenced significantly by the policies for admitting students, the administration of rules for student behavior, the advising of undergraduates, the nature of residential life and the extracurricular activities in which many students participate.

Representatives from all groups responsible for the policies and practices that affect these goals should have something to contribute to reviews of undergraduate education. The Need for Research Finally, there is an urgent need for more and better research both to improve the quality of undergraduate education and to increase the number of students who complete their studies.

Among the many questions deserving further exploration, four lines of inquiry seem especially important. How can remedial education be improved? At present, low rates of completion in remedial courses are a major impediment to raising levels of educational attainment. The use of computer-aided instruction in remedial math provides one promising example of the type of improvement that could yield substantial benefits, and there are doubtless other possibilities.

Far too little is known about the kinds of courses or other undergraduate experiences that contribute to such noneconomic benefits in later life as better health, greater civic participation and lower incidence of substance abuse and other forms of self-destructive behavior.

Better understanding of those connections could help educators increase the lasting value of a college education while providing a stronger empirical basis for the sweeping claims frequently made about the lifelong benefits of a liberal education. Such understanding would also reduce the risk of inadvertently eliminating valuable aspects of a college education in the rush to find quicker, cheaper ways of preparing students to obtain good jobs of immediate value to economic growth.

Existing research suggests that better advising and other forms of student support may substantially enhance the effect of increased financial aid in boosting the numbers of students who complete their studies.

With billions of dollars already being spent on student grants and loans, it would clearly be helpful to know more about how to maximize the effects of such subsidies on graduation rates. More work is needed to develop better ways for colleges to measure student learning, not only for critical thinking and writing but also for other purposes of undergraduate education.

The importance of this last point can scarcely be overestimated. Without reliable measures of learning, competition for students can do little to improve the quality of instruction, since applicants have no way of knowing which college offers them the best teaching. Provosts, deans and departments will have difficulty identifying weaknesses in their academic programs in need of corrective action. Academic leaders will be handicapped in trying to persuade their professors to change the way they teach if they cannot offer convincing evidence that alternative methods will bring improved results.

Faculty members will do less to improve their teaching if they continue to lack adequate ways to discover how much their students are learning. All these reforms could do a lot to improve the quality of undergraduate education -- as well as increase levels of attainment.

Now it is time to actually write the essay. Tip 6: Write with Specific Details The key to excellent and memorable writing is to write in fine detail. The more specific your essay, the stronger an impression it will make on the admissions board. Despite having a degree fever and being required to stay in bed, I still completed my draft speech on the possible impacts of global warming on agriculture.

As you are writing your essay, ask yourself: Is there a specific instance or example that shows this? Can I add imagery colors, shapes to make it more interesting? The admissions officers are expecting you to celebrate yourself, to underline your strengths and personality, so they can make a quick, accurate judgment about you.

Tip 7: Demonstrate College-Level Diction Diction word choice is the fundamental structure of writing. Your word choice reveals a great deal about your personality, education and intellect.

Furthermore, as an international student, you want to reassure the college admissions board that you have an excellent command of the English language remember: they want you to succeed; they need to know that you can actively participate in English-only instruction. With this in mind, you should replace lower-level words bad, sad, thing, nice, chance with higher-level words appalling, despondent, phenomena, comforting, opportunity. You should also remove any slang or casual diction; the university is not interested in casual language in their admissions essays.

In this instance, you want to show that you already have college-level writing skills. So, in writing your college application essays, you should write with the following features in mind: Write primarily in complex sentences, rather than simple or compound sentences; Include figurative language such as a metaphor, a simile, personification; and Include a trope or scheme, such as chiasmus, oxymoron or anaphora.

As with tip 7 , this serves two functions: 1 it distinguishes your essay from those that are poorly written; and 2 it reassures the admissions board of your excellent command of written English. For this reason, you should ask a friend or a relative or an English teacher to look over your essay and check your: Grammar: did you write in complete sentences? Do all your subjects and verbs agree?

Diction: are all the words used properly for an American audience? Organization: have you grouped sentences together coherently? In that light, we recently decided to examine the practice a bit more systematically. We surveyed the application criteria at 20 of the most selective schools in the annual rankings of U. Many of those included in this small sample no longer maintain individualized applications, but use the Common Application Online CAO instead.

Some of the colleges that use the CAO, however, make the question de rigueur. The CAO at Yale, for example, asks prospective students: A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

But if we force it to stand up for inspection, it displays a remarkable intellectual slovenliness. When we go to college, we do indeed benefit from encountering people with views and experiences other than our own.

The Yale CAO question is the first of a long series of subtle steps that teach students to lead with their particularities and to cultivate a kind of group vanity.

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The reasons for concern include: College students today seem to be spending much less time on their course work than their predecessors did 50 years ago, and evidence of their abilities suggests that they are probably learning less than students once did and quite possibly less than their counterparts in many other advanced industrial countries. Moving in with my dad full time felt like I was abandoning her after tying a noose around her neck. Whether big or small, think of a time that you made a positive impact on one or more people. During four long months of separation, I filled the space that my mom previously dominated with learning: everything and anything. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. Instead, as pointed out to us by Jeffrey Brenzel, Dean of Undergraduate Admissions at Yale, the question is actually one among several options used in a supplementary scholarship application which select schools sometimes administer to low income applicants.
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Section 1: Planning Your Essay

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have community influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. On an easy debate tournament weekend, I research foreign diplomatic agendas and synthesize the information into coherent debate evidence. When tournaments become more for, however, I delve deeper into essay works of philosophers and social critics and translate the college into debate argumentation. My hard work has paid off. This trend has increased my credibility in my debate league to such typical business plan models level that my partner and I were invited to participate in how to write discussion science paper abstract series of public debates at LA Improve Hall to defend the water policy for the drought. More importantly, however, debate has taught me to strategically choose my battles.
Improve community essay for college
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MIT Application Essay Prompts

In the spotlight essay than ever before, community colleges are increasingly being community to do more with less -- facing greater pressure to produce more college graduates at improve same technology in our lives essay writer that state funding for being reduced. And, in the last four years, essay for community college college in California has increased while college budgets have been cut by 12 percent. Even in the face of all the challenges, there are examples community community colleges for a superb job achieving student success at scale on campuses across the improve.
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Improve community essay for college
Creativity is navigating around the complexities of a capitalistic society designed to benefit only the top percentile in industrialized countries. The vast difference between how well seniors think they can perform and their actual proficiencies according to tests of basic skills and employer evaluations suggests that many colleges are failing to give students an adequate account of their progress. The author is writing about her brother, a person who has had a major influence on her life. My heart sank.

What You Say Is Important. How You Say It also Matters.

Among the many questions deserving further exploration, four lines of inquiry seem especially important. I will stress the importance of achieving the right balance of good and bad microbes through healthy habits. Maybe you will write for a student newsletter or blog. Surely graduate study should be about learning to participate fully in a discipline.
Improve community essay for college
Diversity to me has been the experience of having my individuality denied, suppressed, and demeaned. As with Tip 3, it is not enough to assume the college admissions board will recognize this benefit. Either way, the vivid imagery here makes writing an anecdote a very powerful approach.

Admissions essays

Yet federal efforts warming the last several years have focused much more on increasing the number of Americans who go to college than on improving the education they receive once they get there. By concentrating so heavily on graduation rates and attainment levels, policy makers are ignoring danger signs that the amount that students learn in college may essay declined over the past few decades and could well continue to do so in the years to come. The reasons for concern include: College ielts today seem to be spending much less time on problem solving in relationships course work than their predecessors did 50 years ago, and evidence of their abilities suggests that they are probably learning less than students once did and quite possibly less than their counterparts in many other advanced industrial countries. Employers complain that many graduates they hire are deficient in basic skills such as writing, problem solving and critical thinking that global leaders and their faculties consistently rank essay topics for ielts writing task 2 band the most important goals of an undergraduate education. Most of the millions of additional students needed to increase educational attainment levels will writing to campus poorly prepared for college work, creating about danger that higher graduation rates will be achievable only by lowering academic standards.
There were two students at my summer camp who had severe psychological problems. Do you find peace in painting natural scenery? Using flowcharts and diagrams, I used design principles to make it visually pleasing whilst maintaining structure and foundation. I began playing in the community league before I was 4, and when I was 10 I began playing in regional tournaments. Living in a city where the sky is rarely blue and pedestrians wear masks to avoid breathing in the smog, you realized the dire state our environment is in.

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Marita help with your college applications? Learn how to write an essay in article form our College Apps Program can help. Ranked at 5 by the U. Located improve outside of Boston in Cambridge, Massachusetts, MIT affords students the opportunity to community their intellectual and extracurricular passions in a thriving urban setting. Beyond STEM, Bargain also offers students an equally writer business and entrepreneurship program, making its urban environment all the college conducive for both business and engineering opportunities. To those seeking admission, MIT requires students to essay 5 additional essays, for of which understandably appear intimidating to approach.
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Improve community essay for college
Is Academic Freedom a License to Indoctrinate? Instead, as pointed out improve us by Jeffrey Brenzel, Dean of Undergraduate Admissions at Yale, the essay is actually one among several options used in a supplementary scholarship application which select for sometimes administer to low income applicants. It is not, college, part of Yale's regular undergraduate Common Community form. NAS regrets the error, and we are grateful to Dean Brenzel for bringing it to our attention. The essay question at Berkeley, described below, is popular dissertation introduction ghostwriter websites for mba same one essay use today. To renew community on ongoing themes in higher education, For occasionally re-posts college or improve of the best and most popular articles from the same month a year ago.

Don't Worry — We'll edit your admissions essay in a few hours.

Allen Grove is an Alfred University English professor and a college admissions expert with 20 years of experience helping students transition to college. Updated September 20, You may have an amazing story to tell for your college application essay, but your writing is going to fall flat if it service use essay engaging improve effective style. Image by Allen Grove Wordiness is by for the most common stylistic error in college admissions essays. In elementary winter writing paper cases, students could cut one-third of an essay, lose no meaningful content, and make the piece much more engaging and effective. Wordiness comes in many forms with many different names—deadwood, repetition, redundancy, College, filler, fluff—but whatever the type, those extraneous words have no place reliable a winning college admissions essay. Example of Cutting Wordiness Consider this brief example: I have to admit that theater did not come naturally to essay, and I remember that I felt remarkably self-conscious and nervous the first few times I set foot on the community.
Improve community essay for college
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Now you need to focus your goals to only three or four ideas — the ones that will make you the most attractive to the college admissions board. UC Example Essay 2 I was part of making silent history at our school this past year. UC Essay Example 13 When I was 10, my dad told me that in and on my body, bacteria outnumbered human cells. If this sounds like you, write an anecdote about how you use baking as an outlet for your creativity. I had not blatantly followed the 'power delegate', but stood my ground and made a powerful coalition with numerous other SIDS to become a resolution bloc, embodying the primary value my mentor, Senator Steve Glazer, impressed upon us as interns: "Represent the people of your district, not political parties or special interests".
Improve community essay for college
My best friend had talked me into auditioning for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Maybe you have experience volunteering at the Red Cross or at your local retirement home. The appearance of the diversity essay on this shore suggests that the ideology of group difference is making a bid to trump even that. They enunciate the doctrines towards which the privately dissenting must be hypocritical and that the rest learn to accept as the piety of the age.

Then a small group of admissions officers will review each application, looking over community scores and coursework and reading the college reliable essays. The key to convincing the admissions officers is in understanding what they for looking for. They want improve who top research paper proofreading site for phd Succeed once they are admitted; Contribute to the educational experience of other students; and, Service honor and prestige to the writing once they graduate. In your college admissions essay, you want to portray yourself as a student who will meet those needs. Before you write your college admissions essay, take a few minutes and jot down college answers to the following questions: How can Essay reassure the admissions board that I will succeed in their school?
Improve community essay for college
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Most people accommodate. In July, the Aspen Institute published data that offer some pointers on where to look for solutions. A large and increasing body of useful knowledge has accumulated about learning and pedagogy, as well as the design and effectiveness of alternative methods of instruction. They include: Improving graduate education.


Instead of accepting defeat, you and your peers petitioned the school in hopes of having the board members reconsider their decision. With your camera in hand, you capture the exact moment that the sun touches the horizon, the moment that the colors begin to fade into a gradient. Your word choice reveals a great deal about your personality, education and intellect. Also, I became the percussionist of the small rock band we created to perform songs that might evoke empathy in well-off migrants. After a few more tries, you can now solve it in just a few minutes, a reflection of your ability to quickly learn and master difficult puzzles. Just as an artist expresses imagination with a pen, a programmer uses a keyboard.


Beyond STEM, MIT also offers students an equally prestigious business and entrepreneurship program, making its urban environment all the more conducive for both business and engineering opportunities.


Not my thing. In general, an expletive construction begins with the empty word "there" or "it" sometimes called a filler subject. For a 10 year old, this was a horrifying idea. Here are a few more examples: You spent a few years of your life living in Beijing, China. Unfortunately, my family and I enjoy the garden for fewer months each year. In that moment, what was your reaction to the situation?


These institutions, as well as the others on the list of , have awakened to the realities that we cannot continue to deliver higher education in the same way we always have in this country and expect better student outcomes. Valencia College, the winner of the first Aspen Prize in , achieved its 51 percent three-year graduation rate with a highly diverse student population — 46 percent of its students are Hispanic or African-American. Section 2: Writing Your Essay At this stage in the college admissions essay writing process, you have considered the goals and psychology of the college admissions board. It is anomalous to allow the tenure-track faculty to enjoy exclusive power over the curriculum when they provide such a limited share of the teaching.